Well apparently he's into motor boating.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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