I accidentally burped into my bong.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
do herpes really smell.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
