There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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