I just pynch a tree in the face
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
