STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
