its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
