I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
