I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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