The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
