i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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