You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
