WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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