She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
