The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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