I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
