Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
