I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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