the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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