No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
