hell yes lets make some ravioli
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
