My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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