I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
