Kiss
Puke
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
