worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
