Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
