escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
