Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
