my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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