It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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