Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
