watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well I just put wine in my tea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
