Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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