I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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