she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
