i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
