About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
