im having a threesome with these popsicles
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
