I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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