Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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