Your mouth is God's brothel.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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