Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Im part way to drunk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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