you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All the doctor said was why
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
