But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
