She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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