you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
