Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
