I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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