I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
