...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
