and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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