I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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