All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
