I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
