Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
