Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We named our party play list daddy issues
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
