Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
